Monday, January 4, 2010

Still alive...

I have gone to bootcamp...really, I have.

It's just that, well, I've turned into a fair-weather participant.

Ice on the road? Heck no.

My birthday the next day? Sleeping in.

So, today, I forced myself to get up and go.

Not too bad. Even though I've been hit and miss with attendance, I do believe that overall, my endurance is increasing. I can do a few seconds of wall squats without crying. I can run a few laps without complaining every.single.step.

Some things still just suck, like pushups and ab work and those jump up with both feet onto the bench things. But, if you've seen me, you know these abs need some work. I am proud that today I did a push up crawl moving thingie (so technical) as part of the relay race. AND I am proud that I did NOT cause my team to come in last place...either time!

One more final "killer" session, then we will retest our times on Monday...I wonder if my time will have increased, decreased or remained the same??? We will see...

Oh, and for those of you who follow the blog. I did NOT sign up for the next session. Am I unmotivated? Lazy? Cheap? (It did go up TWO dollars...watch out world...that'll break the bank...well, that might not but the $2 I'd have to shell out for day care might :) I just didn't get into it as much as I'd hoped...and I didnt' get out of it as much, either, but that is 100% my own fault.

-Jessica

Monday, December 21, 2009

What a Slacker

Wednesday's boot camp has come and gone as has the sore muscles and achy back that came with it.
Overall it was not horrible.
Oh, wait...just as distance makes the heart grow fonder, I believe time has made my memory foggy.

There were the squats on the wall. The kicking the wall. The cursing the wall...what did the poor wall ever do to me?

There were the sprints. I hate sprinting.

Then there were these step up with weights and lean over things...thank heavens Ethan got pushed down in the day care room and busted his mouth, thus giving me an out at exactly the right moment...I went out and bought my favorite child an extra Christmas present after that big save.

And today, day one of bringing all three boys to boot camp (and thus allowing Jackson to not be nervous because he'd have big brother Brennan to protect him), I am at home. Eating Cap't Crunch (Peanut Butter flavored). Why am I not at boot camp, wearing my great new "team" shirt and sweating my butt off?

Because of...the stomach bugs attacking Brennan. Dang it.

Hope I can at least get to boot camp Wednesday because I found a to-die-for cheesecake recipe and I know I want to eat at least two or three pieces of it.

-Jessica

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Why I'd Get Voted Off The Biggest Loser.

I would, it's true. Probably not first or second, but I wouldn't make it to the end. Well, maybe for 250K, I would, but even then... I doubt it. You see, I start off with great intentions. I get excited, I get others excited. I'm all pumped up when I start. But then? Then I start the actual physical agony, and I lose steam about half way through.

That was the case today. I got to boot camp, and dropped baby C off in the day care room. Once again the flesh of my blood, my first-born, deserted me without a backward glance? REALLY, kid?? Ugh. So, I heaved myself outta there, and headed to the gym. We started off by running laps. I still hate running, but I hate it a lot less when it's indoors. Me and Nature are natural foes. I am TERRIFIED the slave driver will make us run outside, and I will slip and fall. As aforementioned in another post, me and winter weather don't mix. So, I was happy to haul my fat ass around the gym. I ran 3 laps, walked 1, and ran the rest. I don't know how many we ran, I lost count.

Next up, we jumped rope. I don't look forward to this. Not because of the physical exertion (but don't be fooled, I huff and puff more than the big bad wolf), but because I am completely lacking in coordination.  I'm pretty sure a one legged man with hooks for hands would be better at it than I am. I am forever tripping over the rope. We were ordered to then jump just on one leg, then just on the other. Um, excuse me? I'm fat. I'm not so sure one leg can support all that flab flying around. I kept thinking that I hoped they were insured, since I was destined to fall.

After (attempting) to jump rope, we did chariot races. I still like these, I think they are fun. Mostly because I can slow whoever my partner is down with my sheer fat-ness. Woohoo, I excel at something!! Shantel really gave me a run for my money though, and the elastic bands were digging into me. When I was done, I was fairly certain I had severed an artery in my stomach somewhere from the pressure. We did those for a while. I've found at boot camp, it's a lot better to NOT keep count of how many of something you are doing. That way you can try to trick yourself into thinking it's a lot less than it really is.

After that, we all lined up at one end of the gym. We were ordered to sprint as fast as we could to the other end, drop and do 10 push ups. Jump up, run back, drop and do 9 push ups. Jump up, run back and do 8 and so on and so forth. Um, didn't we already run?? This was tough. Not so much the push ups, but the running. Half way through, I was exhausted. I kept trying to tell myself there was a big ole Krispy Kreme Donut at the other end of the gym, but I couldn't fool myself.

When we were done with that bit of torture, we paired up. One person did a wall squat while the other ran to the other end of the gym and jumped up and down off of a big step 20 times. I heard somebody say "Wow, it's a lot tougher than it looks!" and thought I was screwed, because it already looked damn near impossible. I don't care what you say about muscle weighing more than fat. It's a croc. I'm all fat, and it's a LOT to heave it a few feet into the air. Besides, 1 pound of fat weighs the same as 1 pound of muscle. This is where I got lucky. Either we had an uneven number, or somebody went and puked in the bathroom for all the exercise, cause I ended up with no partner. So guess who didn't do the 20 jumps a zillion times? I know, only cheating myself. But my knees and ankles sure are thanking me tonight!

Next up were these God-awful stations that got worse with every rotation. Leg kicks with stretchy bands, lunges holding huge exercise balls while twisting, back elevated lunges with weights, butt raises with exercise balls and finally running up and down (one step, over and over. And over. AND OVER) on the bleachers. Hideous. By this point my shirt was soaked, my hat was drenched, and I wanted a juice box and a mat to nap on.

But no. Then we ran some more laps. I don't know how many, I was too busy sobbing quietly, and wishing it was MY kid who had busted his mouth open (you are SO lucky, Jess).

More wall squats. Raising our heels off the ground while doing them. More sprints, and touching the ground (I was wondering if "touching" the ground counted if I collapsed?), and then wall kicks all in a row. I may have left some things out. I really tried to block it out as it went along.

Seriously, halfway through, I was ready to quit. I was wondering WHY in the effity eff I had signed up for this misery. I could be at home, in sweats, curled up with the fire on. Once again, I was near vomiting several times. And this was only ONE HOUR! On the biggest loser, they do this crap for like 8 hours a day!

We'll see how I feel in the morning. The rest of today wasn't bad. It was tough getting Chubby Lumpkins to the car, but after that, I was fine. My muscles aren't horrendously sore, so that's a step in the right direction. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Boot Camp Day...I have no idea, I've lost track!-UPDATED

Woke up this morning to snow...and ice. Yeah.
BUT I preserved and went anyway. Megan had to skip because C is not feeling good and you never know when sickness will strike, so I did not want to miss because of snow then have a kid get sick and miss because of that.
It started out okay. Jack did NOT want to go in to day care, but after about 15 minutes and sitting under a bench, I was told he was fine. He is now happily playing the Wii (something he lost because he would not go to day care last time...I even played with him for a few minutes. Yeah, I rock as a mom.)
The work out was extreme, but in small doses. The last time I was at boot camp, where we just kept adding and adding and adding was KILLER. I wanted to die.
This time, it was just two things at a time, a few sets (first 90 second set, then 60, then 30), run two laps, a few sets, etc. Each exercise was hard (well, except the jumping jacks, those weren't too bad), but since you knew it was only for a short amount of time, doable. EXCEPT these "mountain climber" lunge things that Ms. Uncoordinated (ME) knew were impossible...I just did my own pretend version of those :)
Some exercises we did (with very unofficial names): Jumping Jacks w/ weights where instead of doing our arms side to side, they went up and down; jumping rope (so hard to do when you've had babies...); bicycle crunches; running laps, some sort of bicept curls with bands; some sort of put the band behind your back and pull ups (those were awfully hard and I could not do it the entire time!); the bench squat things that I hate); these step things where you leave one foot on the bench and step up and down with the other foot (hard after #10...did 25 in a row). I finally had to ask Jess to stop her ten second count downs because the last ten seconds seemed to get harder and harder, but without her countdown, I didn't know I was at the end and was able to almost finish most of the exercises. (Hope the other ladies didn't mind)
Now that I am home, my legs and arms are tired. Not sore. Tired. Like, typing this is making them sleepy.
Wednesday we get our tee shirts we ordered! Yeah! Group picture to follow...


UPDATED: Okay. I just sat on the floor for over an hour wrapping Christmas gifts. When I went to get up...well, I fell back down! My tush and the back of my thighs are KILLING me whenever I move. So, I hobbled upstairs like an old lady, popped a few ibuprofen and am about to go to bed. I fear for morning!!!!
-Jessica

Woe Is Me.

Boot Camp day three? Like Jess, I had to miss it. Carson was up all night long. There was lots of crying. Then he got up for the day at 6am. Except, he was soooo exhausted, he just sat and sobbed. We finally got him calmed and asleep by 7:15. Of course that meant no boot camp. The kid slept until 11:30! It was a sucky situation, but had I lugged him there, he would have just cried, and I would have had to leave anyway.

Boot Camp day four? Um, yeah. We got a schlooooad of snow, and pretty much the entire city shut down. No boot camp.

That brings us to today, Boot Camp day five! Sigh. I have a sick kid. He took a 3 hour nap yesterday morning (after sleeping 12 hours the night before) and a FOUR hour nap yesterday afternoon. He was awake for maybe 3 hours yesterday. He's lethargic, doesn't want to eat, and has a fever. Which means? No day care room for him.

I will add that we had an ice storm last night, and all parking lots, sidewalks, driveways, etc are covered in a slicker than snot sheet of ice. Tom was NOT very excited about me going out in this, especially trying to carry Carson through a parking lot. Me and ice? We have a baaad relationship. Each year, I fall and brutally injure something because of ice. Want a good laugh? Read here about how I bit it on the ice last year, while pushing a brand new baby C in the stroller.

So... boot camp? I miss you! My gelatin thighs and double chin(s) are yearning for your brutal-ness. Maybe I'll see you Wednesday?? A girl can dream.....

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Wait, what? There was a Day Three?

Oh, I went to Camelot Community Center to attend Day Three of bootcamp. I drove through the slushy streets and parked my car in the freshly plowed parking lot.

I unloaded a happy baby and a rebellious preschooler to drop them off at the child care room.

Then, the rebellious preschooler refused to go in, cried, threw a fit, etc. No amount of coaxing or bribery was changing him.

Finally, I loaded the happy baby and the rebellious preschooler into the car and went home. The rebellious preschooler spent the morning in his room, striped of anything resembling fun. The happy baby and I relaxed and watched Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

Sigh.

I do have a game plan for Wednesday IF the weather does not turn the entire metro area into one gigantic Popsicle. It involves me reminding preschooler how bored he was in his room, how much fun he is missing by NOT getting to play the Nintendo DS during this snow day with his big brother, and by bribing him with the chance of playing Foosball when I am done working out next time. I think it will work and I hope the rebellious preschooler is starting to see that mommy means business and will not let him rule her. And yes, I've thought of better ways to handle the situation AFTER the time has come and gone, but alas, I will deal with the situation I've already created.

-Jessica

Thursday, December 3, 2009

A Train Wreck.

That's sort of what I feel like. Like I've been in a train wreck. I didn't want to wake up even a little bit today. When I woke up, I had to talk myself into moving. I was quite sorry that I did. I'm fairly certain this is what Tiger Woods felt like the day after his wife beat the crap out of him.

I sort of rolled myself out of bed, and might have shed a tear or two. Then I realized that Jess and I were supposed to go walking this morning, and I cried even more. Tom was already gone, so my mind began fashioning ways to get Carson to climb out of his crib on his own, cause I certainly wasn't going to lift him!! I made it downstairs and had some water, and started moving around a bit.

The more I moved, the looser my muscles became. By the time the thirty pound lead weight Carson woke up, I was able to get him out of the crib with minimal shrieking. It's now 11:45, and I'm actually less sore today than I was after Day 1. Don't get me wrong... every muscle hurts (except my thighs... what's with that?), but I can still function. I'd really love to just lay on the couch under a blanket today, though.

I am simultaneously excited and dreading Monday. I'd be happy to never ever run again. Ever.