Monday, November 30, 2009

Boot Camp Day 1....Jessica's Story

So, I turn 30 in 31 days. Yep. I have three kids and am done being a "Baby Factory" as my mom tells my sons. I should be at the top of my game.

Um, who forgot to tell my body that part?

See, here's my thing...it's that my "girls" are smaller then my belly, thus giving me the look of a woman about three months pregnant all the time. It is embarrassing to have complete strangers ask when the next one is due in line at the grocery store. Or have my three year old poke at my flab and laugh. While I argue that a boob job is WAY easier to handle then a fitness program, my husband does not agree. Maybe he is really just selfish, wanting extra money for lasik eye surgery and other un-necessaries...new bigger boobies and bras are WAY more important then being able to see without glasses. Seriously folks...wife trumps eyes, right?

So, I jumped on the Camelot Bootcamp Train, maybe I even helped kick start it a little bit.

On paper it sounds great, only $40, free childcare provided, 6 weeks.

Then, DAY ONE...the very first thing we have to do is JUMP ROPE. Um, yeah. I now know that my bladder is not as strong as it was in first grade when jumping rope was the cool thing to do. TMI? Yes. But, we need to be honest here.

The next thing, after jumping rope with a too small rope? RUN for one mile. Outside. Up hill. In Nebraska. On November 30. I think it was maybe 25 or 35 degrees outside. Good thing I wore my husband's lounge pants (a part of starting to exercise is needing exercise clothes...I've long since tossed my jazzercise duds for 3 years ago...guess I need to get a few new items. see video)

Now, here is the thing...I am a southern girl, through and through. I sported an LSU tee shirt under my LSU 2007 National Champions sweat shirt. Being a southern girl, I do not sweat, I "glisten", and I do NOT like cold. I do NOT like hills (think Louisiana flatlands, here) either. So, forcing me to go OUTSIDE in subarctic temperatures to run a mile very first thing on the Monday after Thanksgiving, UPHILL...Not cool at all.

But, I did it. Well, I ran, I walked, I ran, I walked, I walked, I ran, I walked. I ditched Megan and Megan and felt bad, but really wanted to try to push myself. I did it in 10 1/2 minutes. And wanted to die at the end. Instead of dying on the street, we got to do these jumpy things on the curb, where you jump around (one good thing about small boobies, I guess...this didn't bother my girls too much) switching feet and hopping around while counting. Yuck.

We went inside and did a bunch of stuff that Megan remembers the names of...me, I remember thinking, "I wonder if there are any peanut butter chocolate chip cookies left at home?" and "This song on her c.d. is awful, Bart should make her a new c.d.." So, I can't tell you my stats from push ups and such (and I *may* have just estimated a little)...but I can tell you that I did 1 minute and 12 seconds in hell a 90 degree sitting but standing with my back against the gym wall position. Now that was just awful...Kudos to Lori for going over three minutes in that torturous pose.

So, Day one is over. I am alive...not too sore, but I haven't really started and I haven't really had time to get sore...I can only imagine what Wednesday will bring. I'm sure it gets worse before it gets better...but, maybe it WILL get better, you know? Maybe I can shave some time off my running (I have always dreamed of doing a mini marathon...true story, even though I don't like running), do a few more push ups and have a few less breaks. I'll let y'all know.


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Boot Camp, Day 1-- Megan's Story.

I. Am. Fat. And out of shape. Wait... round is a shape, right??? Here's the skinny fat: A few friends from MOM and I joined a local fitness boot camp through a community center. I thought it was a BRILLIANT idea. Truly, I did. They offer childcare, boot camp is 2 days a week for 6 weeks, and it was only $40!

I was clearly delirious. All the fat must have rushed to my brain, causing temporary insanity. For some reason, I had envisioned bootcamp to be easy. Maybe some jogging on a treadmill. I don't mind the treadmill. Or maybe some lunges or light weights.

There was running. I hate running. I don't understand runners. At all. There is nothing fun about it to me. Maybe if I was in shape I'd like it better? I don't enjoy lugging my fatness around, and feeling it jiggle all over the place. Talk about wind resistance.

So, today was day 1. I dropped fattycakes off in the daycare room, and bolted, because he didn't look back at me. When I got to the gym, we had to warm up by jumping rope for 1 minute. Not only was I out of breath by like 30 seconds, but I am SO uncoordinated. I kept tripping over the jump rope. I'm just glad I didn't fall. Maybe if I had, I could have skipped the run?

Then we were directed outside, to run a mile. Here is fatty mcbutterpants wearing a t shirt and capri exercise pants. It's Nebraska in November! Oh well, I figured the copious amount of sweat would keep me warm. We started out and Jess and Megan were with me. I did good. For about a minute, if even that. I was huffing and puffing like I was going to blow some little piggies house down! My muscles were cramping, I couldn't breathe... it was awful. Jess pulled ahead (go Jess!) and Megan stayed with me.

It was at this point that I was embarrassed, humiliated, ashamed and scared. Embarrassed that I could even run/jog for one minute. Humiliated as everyone else was running along, and still having conversation. Ashamed that I let myself get to this point. And scared that I wouldn't be able to make it to the end. Scared that I might have a heart attack and die. A little overly dramatic? Maybe. But it was a real eye opener.

Megan stayed with me the whole way. I felt really bad, because I'm sure she could have run that whole mile without stopping. But I will say it was really nice having somebody with me, encouraging me!

We got done (with my 12:28 mile. Yep, that's right.) and went back to the gym. We then had to do push ups, sit ups, a timed wall sit/press and tricep dips. I failed miserably at each:
Push ups: 5, on my toes (no knees down)
Sit ups: 3 (thank you, 11 pound baby for destroying all ab muscles)
Wall sit/press: 44 seconds
Tricep dips: 10

Then we did chariot races. This was actually my favorite part! One person ran in front, with a stretchy band around their waist, while the person behind held the band and tried to slow them down. I was out of breath, but it was fun!

I am being totally honest when I say that I wanted to give up. During that run, I just wanted to sit down and cry. Then climb in my car, and go right home. But, I didn't. I kept going, even though I had to walk when everyone else was running. I did it, even if it was slow. And I'll keep doing it, every week!

Jess and I will use this blog to co-post about our experience with boot camp. I hope you stick around for the ride!



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