Boot Camp Day 1....Jessica's Story

So, I turn 30 in 31 days. Yep. I have three kids and am done being a "Baby Factory" as my mom tells my sons. I should be at the top of my game.

Um, who forgot to tell my body that part?

See, here's my thing...it's that my "girls" are smaller then my belly, thus giving me the look of a woman about three months pregnant all the time. It is embarrassing to have complete strangers ask when the next one is due in line at the grocery store. Or have my three year old poke at my flab and laugh. While I argue that a boob job is WAY easier to handle then a fitness program, my husband does not agree. Maybe he is really just selfish, wanting extra money for lasik eye surgery and other un-necessaries...new bigger boobies and bras are WAY more important then being able to see without glasses. Seriously folks...wife trumps eyes, right?

So, I jumped on the Camelot Bootcamp Train, maybe I even helped kick start it a little bit.

On paper it sounds great, only $40, free childcare provided, 6 weeks.

Then, DAY ONE...the very first thing we have to do is JUMP ROPE. Um, yeah. I now know that my bladder is not as strong as it was in first grade when jumping rope was the cool thing to do. TMI? Yes. But, we need to be honest here.

The next thing, after jumping rope with a too small rope? RUN for one mile. Outside. Up hill. In Nebraska. On November 30. I think it was maybe 25 or 35 degrees outside. Good thing I wore my husband's lounge pants (a part of starting to exercise is needing exercise clothes...I've long since tossed my jazzercise duds for 3 years ago...guess I need to get a few new items. see video)

Now, here is the thing...I am a southern girl, through and through. I sported an LSU tee shirt under my LSU 2007 National Champions sweat shirt. Being a southern girl, I do not sweat, I "glisten", and I do NOT like cold. I do NOT like hills (think Louisiana flatlands, here) either. So, forcing me to go OUTSIDE in subarctic temperatures to run a mile very first thing on the Monday after Thanksgiving, UPHILL...Not cool at all.

But, I did it. Well, I ran, I walked, I ran, I walked, I walked, I ran, I walked. I ditched Megan and Megan and felt bad, but really wanted to try to push myself. I did it in 10 1/2 minutes. And wanted to die at the end. Instead of dying on the street, we got to do these jumpy things on the curb, where you jump around (one good thing about small boobies, I guess...this didn't bother my girls too much) switching feet and hopping around while counting. Yuck.

We went inside and did a bunch of stuff that Megan remembers the names of...me, I remember thinking, "I wonder if there are any peanut butter chocolate chip cookies left at home?" and "This song on her c.d. is awful, Bart should make her a new c.d.." So, I can't tell you my stats from push ups and such (and I *may* have just estimated a little)...but I can tell you that I did 1 minute and 12 seconds in hell a 90 degree sitting but standing with my back against the gym wall position. Now that was just awful...Kudos to Lori for going over three minutes in that torturous pose.

So, Day one is over. I am alive...not too sore, but I haven't really started and I haven't really had time to get sore...I can only imagine what Wednesday will bring. I'm sure it gets worse before it gets better...but, maybe it WILL get better, you know? Maybe I can shave some time off my running (I have always dreamed of doing a mini marathon...true story, even though I don't like running), do a few more push ups and have a few less breaks. I'll let y'all know.


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